Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Side-boob and cute doc- FTW!

I admit it. I'm a bit of a flirt. But I don't WANT people I flirt with, not sexually anyway. (Trust me, the Major keeps me quite happy, tyvm) I just do it as a joke, to make them feel good about themselves. Humans deserve to feel good and be confident. Human beings fascinate me to no end. I love all kinds of people. What makes us tick? What makes us smile? What makes us cringe? Admittedly, a few well placed words can either cause a smile, a blush or a withdrawal.

Yesterday, I made someone blush. Not really because I was trying. I was just being myself, which some find to be too forward and outspoken. Having three moles I was concerned about and a history of skin cancer in the family, I went to the base clinic. (Yay, socialized medicine!) The doctor who walked in was young, tall and handsome, which took me back a little. AND he was in a uniform. Sorry, but swoonage was in order. Capt. Herb was very nice and straightforward. As it was my first time in a base medical facility and I'm trying to learn the Major's sponsor number, acronyms and the million other terms the military uses, I was a bit nervous. "Welcome to the jungle," he said with a laugh. We bantered back and forth and I became more comfortable. Unfortunately for him, (or fortunately, depending on your point of view) two of the moles were under my left breast. Now, I know women who are very self conscious about visiting doctors. They would probably be mortified at showing where these moles were. This is silly. Hell, I had two very large baby boys and one of them decided I should be in labor for a full week before he made an appearance almost a month early. Doctors were all up in mah bidness for that, and also for complete reconstruction of my plumbing to even HAVE the second child and then after my hysterectomy. Plus I get regular waxings at a wonderful little place here. Shyness at this point is a moot issue. I think I earned the right to show a bit of skin and still look pretty good for my age. If a doctor will shy away from a little side-boob, he doesn't deserve to be a doctor.

As Nurse Kayona prepared the tools and pulled the curtain, I started stripping off my shirt and bra. I don't think she was prepared for my lack of modesty in a medical setting. Of course, I'm damn sexay in a surgical gown. *coughyeahrightcough* Capt. Herb removed the one on my back after an owowow painful lidocaine shot to the area. (Seriously, the deadening shots hurt worse than my tattoos!) Then I laid on my side so he could get to the other mole he could remove in- office. (The last one is actually a cyst to be dug out today and will require stitches. *sadpanda*) Pulling up my gown to show the area but cover my breast, it was difficult to keep the gown in place. So I said, "Screw it. I'm not that modest, you're a doctor and you'd better be able to handle seeing a boob." Off went the gown, blush went the captain. I guess there aren't a lot of women who will do that in front of him, except maybe his wife. (Sorry, ladies, he was taken.) But do you know what caused ME to be embarrassed? When he asked me to raise my left arm up above my head to stretch out the skin better. The first thing that crossed my mind was, "Oh god. Did I shave my armpits??" (yes.whew.)

Yeah, the weird things you think about when laying on a doctor's table. At least I got some pretty pink and yellow bandaids out of it. And a blush on a cute doctor.

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