Objects in mirror are not what they appear

Holy cow, what a summer. And what a glorious life I'm living. Yes, I'm going to brag just a little. It's healthy to be happy, dammit!

We've all made it to Okinawa after a July from hell where I nearly die from a diseased gallbladder and abscesses, where the Major flies back on emergency leave to literally save my life by helping me stabilize enough to get out of ICU, and then help me hobble around with a stomach stent in my chest to drain out the infection. (Bleargh). After we survive August with a horrendous flight from Seattle to Okinawa in a cramped and screaming-baby-filled airplane for 18 cruel hours. Though the boys liked Seattle and we spent some amazing time with friends Ken and Kelly and Heather! (Thanks for the hospitality, lovelies!) I showed the boys all my favorite places and they still talk about it.

We are here and loving it! The boys are able to talk to their family back in Oklahoma almost every day and I'm glad of it. (Thank you, Facetime and Vonage!) They are doing well here though there are adjustments. The oldest is in a more challenging school and though a middle schooler, is taking two high school level classes. He puts a lot of stress on himself, unfortunately, and is too much like his mama in being the perfectionist. Being with friends is helping him though. SOOO much better than last year when he struggled to fit in and couldn't make friends.

The youngest has taken to the place like he's never lived anywhere else. It's amazing to me. He's grown two inches and gained at least five pounds on his skinny frame. He's now reading books like the Harry Potter series and I can barely get him inside until it's dark outside. A group of boys his age keeps him busy.

The house is nearly unpacked after three weeks. I can't believe how well it's coming along! I'm so OCD about it and want it done two weeks ago but it's not realistic. I'll be lucky to get pictures up in three weeks and I'm almost okay with that.

I just want it to feel like home. For me, for the Major, for the boys. And we've almost succeeded.

For me, I'm keeping a positive attitude. There are those who criticize, who've called me selfish, mean and can't understand "why I would take the boys away from their family and friends." Sorry, but it's an opportunity for them to grow outside that small-town mentality. To see the world and the people in it. To have their eyes opened but still have roots. Because they deserve to see the beauty of the world and LIVE it, not just visit it.

I'm keeping it positive for myself as well. There are too many horror stories of spouses who never leave base in their egocentricity. Who mock and demean everything different about their host country, simply because it isn't like home. Isn't like America. Isn't like their rose-colored vision of small town USA. I've found amazing people here.

This is an actual sunset I saw on Sunday at Araha Beach, Okinawa. ©

Seen the most gorgeous sunsets I could imagine. Learned to drive on the opposite (NOT the wrong-) side of the street in a tiny car down streets I can't pronounce much less read the letters to which make up their names. I've felt a sense of accomplishment, of growth, of expansion into a greater self. And I was scared shitless the whole time. No, really. I got a stomach-ache later that day from venturing out into unknown traffic, buying produce in a store where no one spoke English using strange currency, and still managed to make it home.

Only once have I broken down, sobbing, missing my friends and family more than I could bare. Watching my nieces and nephew grow from so far away is hard. I can't just go to my mom or my best friends and have a hug because I need it. And I'm not good enough friends with folks here to do that. I've been so busy setting up house and running around with the family, I've lost more weight. I don't recognize myself as the chubby bunny anymore and it's weird. I have a bit of homesickness but it isn't something to dwell on. It's natural and I get melancholy sometimes. (Meg knows what I mean.) I have the most amazing friends and I just remember that I'm adding to that bunch. The spouses group here is so fun and I'm learning the lingo. The Air Force Ball, which I FINALLY get to go to!, is this Saturday. And I'm going to have a grand time with my love. I'm keeping this face because the mask is off.

I'm happy and nothing can break me down. 

We now interrupt your regularly scheduled summer

I wouldn't have given up the last weeks of May, first of June for anyone. Including Mother Nature. And she tried really hard.
May 20, the day before we left for Italy, I had a panicked call from the Oldest who was using someone else's phone, about 45 minutes before the end of school.

"Are you coming to get us?!"
"Not until after schools, why?"
"Have you checked the weather? There's a tornado in Newcastle and it's headed this way!" 10 miles away.

Superhero Mom mode, engage! Checking the weather, which by myphone app said it was only a thunderstorm, I then turned on the local news and the weather guys were going nuts. Just a few days prior, a tornado ripped thru a tiny town south of us. Living in "Tornado Alley" during the spring and summer is always eventful. But this year, we lived in a city that had been hit time after time, with devastating results. To make matters worse, we were without a storm shelter. Just the little area under the stairs we affectionately called the Harry Potter Closet.

Throwing the dog into the garage howling, just as the sirens started, I drove like a maniac to my children a mile away. It was the slowest mile EVER. I could see the storm building just southwest of us and the hail had already started. Rushing into the school, there were other parents and teachers hovering in the hallways, closets and tiny bathrooms with kids as this was the only safe place for them. Don't get me started on how asinine it is that Oklahoma schools don't have mandatory storm shelters! Demanding my kids come out, we covered our heads and ran for the car which was getting beat all to hell with hail.

On the drive back to the house, the kids were watching the tornado increasing in size. The stuff of nightmares. Stuffing them, the dog and every available pillow and blanket under the stairs, we waited with our bicycle helmets on. I'd been texting the Major who was trying his hardest to get home to us but didn't end up home until 5 hours later, when the power went out.

The E-F5 tornado that struck our town that day, a mile and a half passed our home, has been recorded as the worst in history. 20 people died, most of them children who were huddled in their school, like my boys had been, while the twister literally ground their school to a pulp around them. We heard the roar of it from our house, sounding very much like a freight train and could see it from our front windows after it had passed far enough east for us to get outside of the closet.

My last text from the Major was that he was along a road heading south as fast as possible. A road the tornado was headed straight toward. Thank God for social media as a FB notice later showed him safely to the south of the damaged area but streets and highways were now impassable. What a way to begin a honeymoon!!

We felt guilty leaving the next day as friends were trying to clean up the disaster. We donated everything we could from water and baby goods to money. It will take years before things are back to normal. Of course, we would be moving to the home of typhoons.

Transplantation takes care

I haven't written for the last month as I wanted to concentrate on issues close to home and telling the world about my problems is too public. My social media interactions are already being monitored by well-meaning but misinformed people who would love to twist my every post. At the least, I hope I've been entertaining for them. At worst, boring, so they'll stop.

Life. It's finally going somewhere. That first somewhere is Italy.

The Major and I had thought about a trip to Rome to see his oldest son graduate from a university there before the planned wedding in June. As those plans were drastically changed , we've decided to make it a honeymoon instead! Very soon, we'll be on a plane crossing the Atlantic and I'm excited-scared-giddy-worried. The closest I've been to out of country is Montreal, Canada, and the island of Barbados. Not exactly foreign. In Montreal, I was alone at a conference, and though it's a great place, it's not quite as fun without someone to share the experience of travel. My ex and I went to Barbados for our honeymoon but he got the flu the night before we flew out and stayed in the room most of the time. I saw the beauty of the ocean for the first time in my life while he languished in the hotel. I spent the majority of the trip, once again, alone.

THIS time, the Major and I will be seeing Rome, Ferrara, Venice and Florence together. Super romantic! I'll save you the mush-talk, though I may post a few pics later. Not THOSE kinds of pics. Sick people.

The second somewhere is DisneyWorld!

We had promised the boys a return trip there that they could actually remember. The last time, we went with my ex, sisters and parents and bro-in-law just before my dad died of pancreatic cancer. It was a disaster at first with the airline misplacing my dad's luggage with his chemo meds in it, late and missed flights because of storms that morning and every single person in our group getting airsick and puking from turbulence. But it ended on a beautiful note. My Daddy-O, determined to have a great time, wanted to ride every single ride he could. And he DID, saying, "I already know what will kill me. I might as well have fun!" The sound of his laughter and cheering on that crazy roller coaster still rings in my ears.

The third somewhere, ultimately, is Okinawa.

As some of you might know, we've had a bit of custody issue on whether the boys can go with us. In the midst of all the moving and paperwork required for the military plus me having hernia surgery, we've been going to court. Their wishes were that they WANT to go, so the judge is at least honoring those wishes; allowing them with us the first semester of school and we'll revisit the case when we come back at Christmas. Here's where I'm supposed to stay quiet about all of it, though I'd love to clear the air of some misconceptions old friends seem to have but haven't bothered to ask me directly about. Just know the Major and I will be keeping all the promises we made from the beginning to have the boys keep in touch with their family and friends here.

So until the move itself next month, we're planning for some fun times first. Lots of love and laughter together as a little family, wishing the Major's boys could be with us too. It's time to move forward in life. To grow and change together and not stagnate. Roses may have thorns but they deserve lots of sunshine.

Foodie in Peril

"Mangiare per vivere e non vivere per mangiare." 

Eat to live and not live to eat. 

I'm addicted to Italian and Asian cuisines. Luckily for me, we're moving to Okinawa where I can learn to make authentic sushi and other Japanese dishes. I've had a Japanese cookbook since before I was first married more than 15 years ago but I've never implemented it. Too scared! Though I love to eat just about anything. Even those tiny baby octopi in jaew-sriracha sauce...NOM! I've eaten an entire appetizer of these all by myself. Grossed my mom out at our wedding reception which was held at a local Japanese restaurant, Tokyo. My 4-yo niece ate the heads and I ate the bodies. *evil aunt grin* If I wasn't already a chubby bunny, I would have eaten the entire 100 sushi boat too! I'm always excited when my kids try something new and end up liking it, especially exotic (to us) flavors. My oldest has found he really likes sushi, with favorites being Tiger or Dragon rolls. His American tummy can't quite handle sashimi, though he doesn't mind the flavors. The youngest likes eel, teriyaki yakisoba and they both really like my grilled shark. (I'll have another post soon on some of our recipes.)

Mushrooms, red onion, pears,
yellow/red peppers, carrots and celery

Unluckily for me, I'm really, really hoping there might be a deli on the island carrying cappacuolo, salami in wine, prosciutto, mozzarella balls and flatbread. Because I'm seriously hooked on them. Nearly every day for lunch, since I work from home, I have these with some veggies or fruit. Dip them in EVOO with my homemade crushed spices and I'm in heaven! And I could watch the hell out of Giada De Laurentiis. She never ceases to amaze me at how simple the dishes seem to be, even those which use lots of ingredients. One of our favorites around here is just a simple puttanesca of grilled veggies over tortellini with sweet Italian sausage. The kids ask for it at least once a week. Or we'll throw shrimp and scallops in it instead of sausage.

See, I KNOW there's a BX at Kadena AB. I KNOW we can get all kinds of fresh veggies and seafood out the wazoo. What I'm not sure of is whether they'll have some of the usual staples we have here that grace our pantry. I may need to stock up and mail myself some at Christmas!

Anyone who's lived over there is welcome to comment below. What are your experiences at Kadena like with food?

The Sorting Hat

Why can't I just have a giant Sorting Hat like in Harry Potter that goes over the house and magically tells me where everything goes?
"These things in the Hufflepuff long term storage pile."
"These things in the Gryffindor immediate household goods pile."
"These in the Slytherin you-may-not-see-them-for-months-because-military-shipping pile."

My oldest son has one that the Major brought from DisneyWorld for him but it's not nearly big enough. This is a fairly large house and with four of us in it, we have too much stuff. My goal over the next couple of weeks is to pare it down much more. From furniture to pageant clothes, an iphone and old wedding ring, to a myriad of toys and collectibles I've never shown, I want these things GONE. Out of sight. Sold. Vanished. Most of the stuff in the house seems to be the Major's, minor packrat that he is. Only thing is, we USE everything we have. The six tubs of party goods will definitely need some readjusting. I can't bear to be without our Christmas stuff because the boys will be spending the holiday with their dad over the next three years. But I would still like to decorate our house on the island to feel like home until they leave.

https://www.militarykidsconnect.org/

And why can't there be a Sorting Hat to work thru feelings? As we work custody out with their dad, this is my hopeful plan. It's a readjustment for everyone. I can only hope the changes are helping my kids be more flexible and accepting, opening their minds to all the possibility that world travel opportunities have in store. There are fantastic resources out there and I'm implementing as many as I can to help them thru the transition. Military Kids Connect has a little avatar so younger kids can keep track of their travels with a stamp, coping skills for older kids and even Military 101 for newcomers to learn the lingo. I've been Googling like crazy finding sites for making moving easier. Frankly, some of these sites would probably help me too!

How about a Sorting Hat to go thru the bajillion things that have to be done before the move? Not to mention our trip to Europe in the big middle of it all! (Crap, I nearly forgot about that!) There aren't enough hours in the day to keep the house running somewhat smoothly and normally while also preparing for this worldwide change. Physically and emotionally, it'll be a challenge. You'll notice I'm refraining from negative connotations? I'm determined to be positive about this thru the long haul. After all, I'm moving somewhere exciting (lots of people who've been there before us RAVE about it!) and I'm doing this with my best friend and love and my boys by my side!

For now though, if you're friend or family and plan to come over, either excuse the mess or pitch in and help. Imma need a LOT of it. ;)