Side-boob and cute doc- FTW!

I admit it. I'm a bit of a flirt. But I don't WANT people I flirt with, not sexually anyway. (Trust me, the Major keeps me quite happy, tyvm) I just do it as a joke, to make them feel good about themselves. Humans deserve to feel good and be confident. Human beings fascinate me to no end. I love all kinds of people. What makes us tick? What makes us smile? What makes us cringe? Admittedly, a few well placed words can either cause a smile, a blush or a withdrawal.

Yesterday, I made someone blush. Not really because I was trying. I was just being myself, which some find to be too forward and outspoken. Having three moles I was concerned about and a history of skin cancer in the family, I went to the base clinic. (Yay, socialized medicine!) The doctor who walked in was young, tall and handsome, which took me back a little. AND he was in a uniform. Sorry, but swoonage was in order. Capt. Herb was very nice and straightforward. As it was my first time in a base medical facility and I'm trying to learn the Major's sponsor number, acronyms and the million other terms the military uses, I was a bit nervous. "Welcome to the jungle," he said with a laugh. We bantered back and forth and I became more comfortable. Unfortunately for him, (or fortunately, depending on your point of view) two of the moles were under my left breast. Now, I know women who are very self conscious about visiting doctors. They would probably be mortified at showing where these moles were. This is silly. Hell, I had two very large baby boys and one of them decided I should be in labor for a full week before he made an appearance almost a month early. Doctors were all up in mah bidness for that, and also for complete reconstruction of my plumbing to even HAVE the second child and then after my hysterectomy. Plus I get regular waxings at a wonderful little place here. Shyness at this point is a moot issue. I think I earned the right to show a bit of skin and still look pretty good for my age. If a doctor will shy away from a little side-boob, he doesn't deserve to be a doctor.

As Nurse Kayona prepared the tools and pulled the curtain, I started stripping off my shirt and bra. I don't think she was prepared for my lack of modesty in a medical setting. Of course, I'm damn sexay in a surgical gown. *coughyeahrightcough* Capt. Herb removed the one on my back after an owowow painful lidocaine shot to the area. (Seriously, the deadening shots hurt worse than my tattoos!) Then I laid on my side so he could get to the other mole he could remove in- office. (The last one is actually a cyst to be dug out today and will require stitches. *sadpanda*) Pulling up my gown to show the area but cover my breast, it was difficult to keep the gown in place. So I said, "Screw it. I'm not that modest, you're a doctor and you'd better be able to handle seeing a boob." Off went the gown, blush went the captain. I guess there aren't a lot of women who will do that in front of him, except maybe his wife. (Sorry, ladies, he was taken.) But do you know what caused ME to be embarrassed? When he asked me to raise my left arm up above my head to stretch out the skin better. The first thing that crossed my mind was, "Oh god. Did I shave my armpits??" (yes.whew.)

Yeah, the weird things you think about when laying on a doctor's table. At least I got some pretty pink and yellow bandaids out of it. And a blush on a cute doctor.

The Caged Bird Sings Happy Birthday

Today is my birthday. I'm not bashful in saying I'm two years shy of 40 and I look fabulous! This morning, the Major and the boys got up early, went to buy donuts for me and surprised me with breakfast in bed. Noms topped with birthday candles! We sat on the bed and ate the sugary deliciousness until it was time for school. The youngest had crawled into bed with me to snuggle for a few minutes alone first, telling me "Now you're 21!" He's been especially snuggly recently, what with all the craziness going on. I'll take what I can get as he'll soon be too big to want to be a snuggle bunny. :(

Tonight, we're celebrating and saying goodbye to good friends Sophia and Matt who are moving to San Fran. I still hope there's cake. Tomorrow, I get the BEST present I could possibly want though. I get to marry the man it seems I've waited forever for. Like everyone else led up to him. The rush up to the wedding and the worry about everything complicated about the move to Japan have had me on the verge of tears and hysteria for the last week. Then I get the bad news late last night that the tailor who made my dress, who had PROMISED it would be here either yesterday or today, didn't send it until last night. Le sigh Sent me into a crying mess of ick. Not quite Bridezilla, thankfully.

The birdcage headpiece I made for tomorrow.

Sure, I know it's just trappings and frills. But this was my Dream dress. When I got married the first time, I was young, impetuous and living in a fantasy world. My mom, who got married far too early (thanks to me), didn't get to have a large wedding so I agreed to just about everything she suggested for our wedding, only insisting on the colors I wanted. And it was gorgeous! Truly a beautiful ceremony and reception for 450 people. Yes, there really were that many invited. I don't begrudge her that at all. But the dress style of the time was poof, pearls and padding. I rivaled Lady Di in her regalia.

As I stated above, I'm nearing 40, I'm a woman who knows what she wants and I want the pared down classiness instead of the pomp and circumstance. Though what I had been planning for June WAS going to be fan-freaking-tastic! Maybe it's some selfishness. But a woman is entitled to want to look and feel her absolute best on her wedding day. The secondary dress we bought the other day isn't quite what I want but it'll do. Because tomorrow, I wed the Major, my best friend, my lover, the one person in this world who truly understands and loves me for all my flaws. He thinks I'm beautiful when I'm blubbering incoherently in my pajamas. So I'll make the most of tomorrow. I'll buy some amazing and colorful new shoegasms (because what outfit is complete without them?), see my family and many of our friends at dinner at a local Japanese restaurant and live and love.

That's what it's about. Year after year, getting older, wiser and happier. Yes, 38 will be the year of change and amazeballs discovery! Bring it on, Life!!

Major, Biggun and Bunny, I love you three with all my heart. Thank you for being in my life. 

Kenny Rogers sang about me.

Sometimes, technology is the only thing that can connect you with others. International cell and text rates are out of this world and so communication will be at a minimum with the Major. But it reminds me of simpler times, when lovers wrote letters by hand or sent post cards when they were too far apart to talk.

In the meantime, my work load has doubled, luckily, and I'm staying busy, drinking way too much coffee for my own good and learning new things. Such as: I have a hard time saying no to friends and clients. I want to help out and my time is becoming precious. The majority of it I want to spend with my kids and when they aren't there, I focus on other things. My business is really taking off and I'm finally paying off bills that piled up over the last year of being off work. I've found a good niche but there might be something else out there.

A recent conversation:
"You've helped a bunch of our friends with these issues, why don't you think about going back to school? Even think about getting a PhD?"
"You're kidding, right? A DOCTORATE? I couldn't even get back to school before because I couldn't possibly work while going thru such a tough schedule for a Master's! We lived paycheck to paycheck as it was. I like my independence and won't live off you." (cue tears of mortification. Ask my mom. I couldn't even ask my parents for college money when I lived in a shitty apartment and didn't have heat or electricity mid-winter.)
"You're selling yourself short. I've heard your conversations and think you'd be amazing at this. Besides, you have me and I fully support you. You can do the same client work you do now on the side. Do your homework with the kids. They'd really see how important schooling is if you are in it."

WHOA is that a lot to think about...

I think I would just need to get my confidence back up to decent levels before seeking this prospect. Granted, the impetus was one of my clients for whom I've been doing great work but this would take SO much chutzpah. ME, with a PhD?? Holy hell. And I could do a lot of the job thru various media and online, researching and communicating with others, though I love the one-on-one approach. Having worked in radio, I could take it to another level entirely. Until I make a decision, I'm keeping the rest of it close to the vest.

I take risks but I won't make a poor gamble. It's gotta be a sure thing.