Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Wedding of the century (Part deux)

I promised an extension of Wedding of the century (Part 1) so read it first before reading more!

Still getting over the shock of being married again and having been part of the fantastic flashmob! It's all happened so fast and now I officially belong to the military after getting my ID card and signed away my life for insurance and other things. The following are the vows the Major and I wrote together. Feel free to laugh, cry, whatever. We sure did!

The Major directing festivities as always.

The party dancing on my arrival!

SARA:  Mawwage... Mawwage is wot bwings us toogevver tooday. [This got a big laugh from the audience.]

I apologize.  J and H have clearly seen the Princess Bride one too many times, and they insisted we had to start that way.  But, if you know these two well, then that sort of thing should come as no surprise, for J and H are a couple who clearly always find ways to have fun with everything that they do.  It was this common spirit of playfulness and fun that first attracted them to one another, finally leading up to this blessed day, a day on which we are all now privileged to witness and participate in a ceremony celebrating the public acknowledgment of the love that J and H have for each other.  And, by our presence here with them, we confirm that they, together, are loved by many others.  We have come to surround them as they stand before us, where J and H in essence now say, “Welcome to our marriage!  Welcome to the celebration!”

To demonstrate the depth of their feelings for one another, J and H have each chosen a poem that, for them, captures their feelings on this day.




(The Major quoted this to me.)
She Walks In Beauty

By:  Lord Byron

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!


(I read this to him)
Sonnet 12 - Indeed this very love which is my boast
By:  Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Indeed this very love which is my boast,
And which, when rising up from breast to brow,
Doth crown me with a ruby large enow
To draw men's eyes and prove the inner cost,—
This love even, all my worth, to the uttermost,
I should not love withal, unless that thou
Hadst set me an example, shown me how,
When first thine earnest eyes with mine were crossed,
And love called love. And thus, I cannot speak
Of love even, as a good thing of my own:
Thy soul hath snatched up mine all faint and weak,
And placed it by thee on a golden throne,—
And that I love (O soul, we must be meek!)
Is by thee only, whom I love alone.


SARA:  And now, having poetically expressed the depths of their affection for one another, J and H will share the wedding vows that they have written together.
J: I promise to always clearly explain my expectations rather than forcing you to guess at them and then getting angry when you’ve guessed wrong.  Do you promise the same? 
H: I do.  I promise to be a dreamer who ACTS on those dreams and includes you in them.  Do you promise the same? 
J: I do.  I promise not to play the blame game or to keep score, even if I am totally winning.  Do you promise the same?
H: I do.  I promise to keep the peace in our home with honest and open communication, even when my claws want to come out.  Do you promise the same?
J:  I do.  I promise to defend you against the slings and arrows of others, even when you’re wrong.  Do you promise the same?
H: I do.  I promise to always be myself, even if that means growing and changing with you.  Do you promise the same? 
J:  I do.  I promise to give you the benefit of the doubt and always listen to your side of the story before I yell at you.  Do you promise the same?
H:  I do.  I promise not to let my butt get bigger than it is right now, because staying healthy and fit means living a longer lifetime with you.  Do you promise the same? 
J:  I do.  I promise to make you laugh every single day, whether intentionally or not.  Do you promise the same?
H:  I do.  I promise that when I’m really angry with you I will shut my mouth, count to as high a number as necessary until I’m calm, and then come back to talk things over with you when we’re both rational.  Do you promise the same? 
J:  I do.  I promise to do the things that neither of us wants to do, if you really don’t want to do it more than I don’t want to do it.  Do you promise the same? 
H:  I do.  I promise not to promise something and then do something completely different.  Do you promise the same?
J:  I do.  I promise to show you every single day that you are loved and appreciated.  Do you promise the same?
H:  I do.  I promise to always keep you pleasantly surprised, even when you outdo me!  Do you promise the same?
J:  I do.  I promise to resolve our differences in private and never in public or in front of the children.  Do you promise the same?
H:  I do.  I promise never to take you for granted.  Do you promise the same? 
J:  I do.  I promise never to make you read any of the Twilight novels or to see any of those awful movies, or any movies featuring emo vampires that sparkle like a My Little Pony.  Do you promise the same?
H: I definitely do!


SARA:  The rings please.  [Best Man / MoH produce the rings.]  

You have for each other these special rings – symbols that love is the most precious element in your life together. A ring has no beginning and no ending, symbolizing that the love between you will never cease. You place these rings upon each others fingers as a visible sign of your vows this day, making you husband and wife.  



J:  With this ring, I thee wed.

H:  With this ring, I thee wed.

SARA:  In the honesty and sincerity of what you have said and done here today, and in accordance with the laws of the state of Oklahoma, it is my honor and delight to declare you husband and wife.  You may now kiss the bride, and never ever stop.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. & Mrs.!

Thank you everyone for joining us here today.  As everyone but Heather already knows, there will be a picnic reception immediately following the ceremony. So, let the wild rumpus start!

(Thanks to Brandi for these awesome shots!)

Friday, February 22, 2013

The Caged Bird Sings Happy Birthday

Today is my birthday. I'm not bashful in saying I'm two years shy of 40 and I look fabulous! This morning, the Major and the boys got up early, went to buy donuts for me and surprised me with breakfast in bed. Noms topped with birthday candles! We sat on the bed and ate the sugary deliciousness until it was time for school. The youngest had crawled into bed with me to snuggle for a few minutes alone first, telling me "Now you're 21!" He's been especially snuggly recently, what with all the craziness going on. I'll take what I can get as he'll soon be too big to want to be a snuggle bunny. :(

Tonight, we're celebrating and saying goodbye to good friends Sophia and Matt who are moving to San Fran. I still hope there's cake. Tomorrow, I get the BEST present I could possibly want though. I get to marry the man it seems I've waited forever for. Like everyone else led up to him. The rush up to the wedding and the worry about everything complicated about the move to Japan have had me on the verge of tears and hysteria for the last week. Then I get the bad news late last night that the tailor who made my dress, who had PROMISED it would be here either yesterday or today, didn't send it until last night. Le sigh Sent me into a crying mess of ick. Not quite Bridezilla, thankfully.

The birdcage headpiece I made for tomorrow.
Sure, I know it's just trappings and frills. But this was my Dream dress. When I got married the first time, I was young, impetuous and living in a fantasy world. My mom, who got married far too early (thanks to me), didn't get to have a large wedding so I agreed to just about everything she suggested for our wedding, only insisting on the colors I wanted. And it was gorgeous! Truly a beautiful ceremony and reception for 450 people. Yes, there really were that many invited. I don't begrudge her that at all. But the dress style of the time was poof, pearls and padding. I rivaled Lady Di in her regalia.

As I stated above, I'm nearing 40, I'm a woman who knows what she wants and I want the pared down classiness instead of the pomp and circumstance. Though what I had been planning for June WAS going to be fan-freaking-tastic! Maybe it's some selfishness. But a woman is entitled to want to look and feel her absolute best on her wedding day. The secondary dress we bought the other day isn't quite what I want but it'll do. Because tomorrow, I wed the Major, my best friend, my lover, the one person in this world who truly understands and loves me for all my flaws. He thinks I'm beautiful when I'm blubbering incoherently in my pajamas. So I'll make the most of tomorrow. I'll buy some amazing and colorful new shoegasms (because what outfit is complete without them?), see my family and many of our friends at dinner at a local Japanese restaurant and live and love.

That's what it's about. Year after year, getting older, wiser and happier. Yes, 38 will be the year of change and amazeballs discovery! Bring it on, Life!!

Major, Biggun and Bunny, I love you three with all my heart. Thank you for being in my life. 

Monday, February 18, 2013

今日は, Alice. ワンダーランドへようこそ (Good day, Alice. Welcome to Wonderland.)

"Nothing is constant but change." - Heraclitus

Over the last two years, I thought the evolution of my life had changed me from a single celled organism to a complex, happy little cephalopod, shuffling along. In the next six months, I'm about to evolve again: into a wife, a stranger, a world traveler.

You see, Dec. 31, my love and my life proposed to me, surrounded by some of our friends and our kids (We wished it was all of them!) while we were in Taos. The landscape is beautiful, the snow plentiful and it was the start of an unexpected journey. I may be short and he may have Hobbit feet but what we didn't think of was the surprise Gandalf would deal us this past Friday.

We were just getting into a groove! The kids are doing extremely well in their new school, though they're both shy and don't quite know how to make friends. They're doing well in sports too. The Major was preparing to move to another squadron on base into a training position and life has been great. We had scheduled our wedding for June 22 with an Alice in Wonderland/Edwardian era themed wedding. I finally found my dream dress and had it ordered. Only the details of decorating and picking out the menu remained. Our wonderful friends were offering to help in various ways and we were looking forward to seeing some out of town family and friends all in our backyard. It would have been perfect.

Before the wedding, since the Major's son is graduating from the American University of Rome, we were also planning a "honeymoon" trip to see him with my kids. We're to be in Rome for a few days, then trek to EuroDisney for a few days and then leave the kids together in Rome while the Major and I went to Venice for a couple of days. The best trip in the world! Right? Everyone could be happy about seeing amazing places and we'd be together. I had started the passport process, thankfully.

After the wedding, I'd really learn what it was like being a military wife with access to healthcare and other things. I was already learning the lingo by doing lots of research and reading. And knowing what questions I could ask which would be answered. We'd be able to stay here for a couple more years at best and the world would be at ease.

Seems Uncle Sam and the Universe are conspiring.

In wonderful and scary ways. In six months, this will all drastically change and I'm praying it all works out for the best. For now, I'll leave you with the following to see what it is we'll actually be doing for the next three years.

We're moving to Kadena AB, Okinawa, Japan.

It's all too much to take in at once. We're pushing the wedding up to THIS SATURDAY with immediate family and a couple friends. We have to get paperwork started so that the kids and I are on the orders. Hoping to do a reception/going away/get rid of the booze because we can't take it with us party in May or June but as we don't know the exact order dates yet, that's hard to organize.

Check in regularly for updates as I plan to share the ups and downs (within reason). There are some delicate matters which will NOT be discussed in this or any other forum and I ask that mutual friends refrain from gossip and speculation, especially concerning the kids. All we ask is your patience and love.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Giggly Snort




So I live with my fiance now and very very soon we'll be marrying. It's so awesome how well we get along. So much so, that I've been giggling in my sleep. I didn't believe him until he posted this:

He is in so.much.trouble. My public shame= snorting when laughing too much.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Happy Birthday, Major Resident

It's November and I'm seeing friends list all the things they're thankful for each day on Facebook. If I did that, I'd be a mushy puddle of goo. I'm incredibly thankful, don't get me wrong. I have an amazing family, the best boyfriend in the universe, the best sons a woman could ask for, amazing friends and support systems and my health is good. I have a home, food and am in want for nothing. (Except coffee and chocolate. You can never have too much of those!) But I don't want to save all my thanks for just one month in a post a day.

Today, I'm most thankful for that boyfriend. Who knows where we're headed but this life we lead is fraught with twists and turns and I enjoy seeing the surprises down every curve. We've both been on extreme roll coasters in our lives and come out with the largest teddy at fair. Today, God granted him another birthday. I pray God will grant us another 44 years together, as we were missing so much time together.

I WAS able to sneak onto base with the help of two of his unit crew. Had a cake and cookies and a bunch of people signed a card. I want him to know that he DOES make a difference in the lives of those around him. It's not something he's use to, that's for sure. Throughout the day, I've had friends and family call the house and my cell with messages of good wishes and happiness for his day. ALso bought Avenue Q tix for this weekend. SO excited! I have a few more surprises up my sleeves but until the day is done, I can't reveal. He reads this blog. :)

Baby, you ain't seen nothing yet!

As I said on my own FB:

A few years ago, he showed me friendship. Time passed & it became compassion when my heart hurt the worst. A bit more time & I returned the favor. I couldn't imagine my life without him now, without the laughter & love. Happy Birthday to a most incredible man!  

Friday, October 19, 2012

What's love got to do with it?

*Warning: you may be offended

I cried today. A happy cry because of all the love in my life and a bittersweet cry bemoaning that I couldn't share that kind of love years ago. But that's silly. I had that kind of love but didn't know how to show it or return it and neither could the person I loved. So an impasse came and went. And we are now stronger for it as we learned how to break free from the constraints of miscommunication and are able to show others who communicate the way we do just what love means to us.

And I cried after the following video. I'll share with you why first. Because I want you to listen to this woman's every.single.word. Absorb them, hear them, understand them. Regardless of who is saying them to whomever.

Because these words ring true for every human being on earth, those who love and love deeply, no matter the skin color, gender or creed. There are those who would say the love of one person to another is unnatural, just because those two people have the same parts. But take away the sexual organs and you're still left with beating hearts that speed up with fear and love, slow down with comfort and rest. Souls that are still shiny under the smudge of years. Human thoughts that were innocent as children, jaded as teens, growing still as adults. We are all left with the same things in death. The pharmaceutical world would have us use our parts into old age but really, these vaginas, breasts, penises, parts are not our entirety.

And our entirety deserves love.

Thank you immalittlestrange and B for bringing this artist to my attention.



For 50 years, you were my favorite poem 
And I’d read you every night, knowing I might never understand every word 
But that was okay because the lines of you were the closest thing to holy I’d ever heard. 
You’d say, “This kind of love HAS to be a verb.”


I can only pray we live for another 50 years to enjoy each other like this. 

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Giddiness becomes her...As does breathing.

I'm known for being a rather vibrant person. I laugh loudly and often and cry without fear. Sometimes a snap in anger though I'm much better at controlling it than I use to be. My music is a constant, either playing in the background or with me singing along, hopefully not off-key. I love color, even splashes or sparkles of it when wearing all black. Throwing open the curtains and shades first thing in the morning because of the sunlight. I use LOL and :) quite a bit in texts. Because I probably AM smiling and laughing out loud.

Lots of different textures now abound in our home, as visitors will attest, from velvets and satin to brushed cotton and rich, dark wood. They reflect the life and vitality seeping from our pores. Ruby reds, grassy greens, sapphire blues, pumpkin-y rusts. It's great when a home smells and looks good but much like people, it needs to be touched and FEEL good, to be LIVED in.

Can you tell I'm in a thoughtful and great mood? Maybe it's the excessive amounts of coffee I've poured down my gullet today. Most likely it's because I got word today that as of this writing, within 5 hours, the Major will be on his way home to me! YAAAAAAAYYYY!!!! Too much? Too bad. Communication has been minimum, at best, because of so many things and it was wonderful being able to see his face for 5 minutes finally on Skype the other day. As I told quebecokie, it felt like I could finally breathe, even for a few minutes, knowing for sure he was doing well.

So my music is turned up even more today. I'm dancing around in my office chair. I'm smiling a bit more, sighing less. It'll be a long while before he's home as he crosses an ocean and half a continent but it'll be sooner than I imagined.

Oh, crap. I was too busy to get the To-Do List finished!

(PS, *waves hi to new readers in Finland, Germany, Mexico, UK and Russia!)

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Silent All These Years No Longer

Amazing high praise for my blog today. I'm truly humbled that so many are reading it and giving me positive feedback. Sure, when I first started it, there were several who felt I revealed too much, criticized me for moving too fast with the Major, or just didn't understand why in the hell I would want to write about something so personal on the Internet.

Because it helps ME feel better about who I am, where I'm going in life as I accept challenges and changes and I hope someday my kids look back on it and know me for who I really am. For 37 years, I tried hiding behind what everyone else wanted me to be, this facade of happy-go-lucky goody two shoes. Sorry, but the human in me wanted out, wanted to be cherished, wanted MORE than I was given in life. I'm not handed what I want by any means now. I work just as hard for things, people and ideas, but I'm not afraid of voicing my opinion when warranted.

This is who I am and the Major loves me because of it. So do my friends and family. I'm liable to embarrass them at some point in time, but never out of meanness. Every single person in my life is or was there for a reason and I respect and love that. Believe it or not, I thank God for those who were even awful to me. Because it makes me appreciate my loved ones all the more.

So today's and tomorrow's blog will be about some of these wonders. Starting with the good stuff, of course!

From my FB:
Heather, 
As I was trying to avoid work I played catch up on the wonderful world of Facebook and then stopped by your blog to catch up! I want to thank you for your lovely use of words to describe life in a way that others can relate to and in a way that can allow me to get lost for 30 minutes, when I should be busy typing away at my computer & reading Deeds that bore me to death! I am glad that you are happy & I appreciate that you are able to turn blunders into reading enjoyment for others. Thank you for an escape. 
Misty 
P. S. You look MARVELOUS! (Girl, Did you know I was scared to death of you in junior high because you were so mean to me on the bus? Then I figured out you were just a big softie who needed understanding. ;))


From Bexi bunneh over at thepersistenceofthepen: I've recently just caught up as well...you give me a feeling of normalcy in a world that is far from normal...thoughts turn into things and whether positive or negative we both seem to find the positive in all things regardless of our first reaction to them. I too love that you give me an escape and the ability to relate to even the most ridiculous yet somehow relevant things :) love you bunneh xo (Love you too, sweet girl. See you soon!!)

My friend Char, who knows my situation EXACTLY and gives me sage advice with a keen sense of humor. We WILL be going back to Vegas some day!

Megs, Anne and Betty Red, my three favoritest redheads in the universe. Thank you for not stealing my soul and instead giving me reasons to laugh, cry and live.

To A: We don't really know each other but thank you for everything you did to bring the Major out of his shell and to be the man he is today. I'm eternally grateful you two are friends and hope you can ever remain so. I'm glad you have his back. You deserve much happiness.



Monday, September 10, 2012

Ye Best Laid Plans

But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley... 
To a Mouse by Robert Burns, 1785

True to my word, I've begun the task of keeping busy. Too busy to fret, to bemoan the early stages of loneliness. My kidlets came home Saturday afternoon and we filled it with a wondrous trip to the zoo then making our version of flatbread pizza with a movie. The next was filled with church, taking the oldest to Frontier City while I took his brother to a round robin of flag football, where he promptly kicked tail, scoring the first TD of the season. 

I'm jealous of the Major as he landed in Hawaii for a few days for maintenance on the plane. His crew finally left this morning (midnight Waikiki time) for Guam. As of this writing, I just got word that he made it safe. THAT part of the waiting drives me crazy, the not knowing of whether the plane landed and he stepped off. Though he was essentially working during his time in paradise, he managed to send me a few pics. One was a sunset he wished he could have shared as we had talked of seeing Hawaii together for the first time. He just happened to beat me to it. Some day.


And as per the last post, I've almost completed one of my projects. I found a bolt of incredible fabric that has a pattern on one side that matches the upstairs bedroom and then reverses to match the office! I couldn't be happier with the result. As soon as they're done, I'll post pics. I have some throw pillows that go incredibly well with them too. I caught the youngest laying on the unfinished piece upstairs in the window so they're already a hit!

I think I'll tackle making Chicken Cordon Bleu tomorrow. Mmmmm prosciutto and gruyère... My Nanny (grandmother) made the yummiest. 

For now, I'm staving off the weepies. I CAN be strong. It's just really, really nice when he's home. 


Friday, September 7, 2012

Dali Dolly

Now he's gone. Left at 0600 this morning. I got up with him to help last minute prep and even made a few dozen cookies for his crew. As soon as the door closed, I had a proper boo hoo, went back to sleep for a few hours and now I don't feel like doing anything. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

It's nearly noon, I'm still in my pjs and I haven't eaten or even had my coffee. For those who know my fiendish appetite for a good cuppa, this isn't good. I'll get over this, I know. And that's okay. I need a day to rcoup, think about things to do in the meantime. Thankfully, I'll have my kids for a few days and we're going to the zoo tomorrow. And flag football starts for the youngest so I'll be busy with them a few days of the week.

I've decided the next two weeks are going to be busy (after I get my tuckus in gear.) There's still so much to do with this house to make it truly comfortable and a home. We hung some pictures last weekend but it isn't enough.

So my Major is Gone, Suck it Up! To-Do List:

1. Exercise every day. Build a better habit of it.
2. Organize the office files better. Consolidate, shred and otherwise get this crap cleaned up.
3. Make lovely, comfy window seats for the upstairs guest bed and the office. (This one has long been on my list since there's already a bench in each large window.) Some pillows, new window coverings and a padded seat will make it simply awesome. I want them to be gathering places for folks!
4. Hang more pictures! Throughout the house, the boys room especially.
5. Get the new shades installed in their room. It'll help with the electric bills and look SO much nicer in there. Wish I could repaint and take down the awful border in there. It'll be awhile.
6. Learn to cook something new, a dish I've never made before.
7. Unpack and sort some more boxes out of the garage.

Sure. All these things are rather ambitious for two weeks time but it'll keep my mind busy and my hands more so. After all, time is on my side.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

What, what, chicken butt?

THIS. So much THIS. The whole Chick-Fil-A thing isn't just about chicken. It's about people. Flesh and blood men, women and children who could be physically and emotionally killed by a hate mongering group or those who support it.

http://www.owldolatrous.com/?p=288

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Humility can be a bitch with a big stick

I haven't felt terribly generous of late.

My time, at least according to me, is too precious to be given to just anyone. Especially when it comes to my loved ones. My boyfriend's (The Major) son is in town visiting and I understand all too well his need to have alone time with him, since he never gets to see him. Unfortunately, his ex-wife also lives here and wanted to see him before she moves back to her home country.

Now, don't get me wrong. She's a lovely person and was his stepmother for 11 years, most of his childhood. There's no telling when she might see him again once she moves. I was quite upset, however, to realize she wanted that precious timeslot allotted to ME in which to meet him with The Major. I already had rearranged my schedule for this dinner, prepared myself mentally to welcome someone else into my life and hoping to be accepted into his. I'm the one who has to make concessions, because she is still a very important person in their lives.

Cue Lindsey.

"Lindsey" is someone we've named as my green-eyed inner demon. She's the worst part of me I keep caged and for good reason. This monster can be the most vicious, conniving and petty sliver of non-humanity known. She bites with words, snapping and snarling, when I don't get my way. She can't strike out physically, just emotionally and mentally against others, leaving far deeper scars. And she serves only me. My selfish little beastie.

Lindsey ranted and raved in private; whimpered and pouted. Narrowed her eyes against the world and threw far too many verbal bombs than is necessary.

Then an email came in from a client who just returned from a trip with her husband. I leave out her name as kindnesses should be felt, not named. But thank you, MB, for holding up that harsh glaring mirror.

Her story: When I was in Seattle last week, I was taking pictures in a very quaint area called Pioneer Square Park.  There was a homeless man about my age at Pioneer Square that was sitting on a park bench.  He saw what I was doing with the iPad and asked "Is that a camera?"  I said that it was and took a picture of him and showed it to him.  He asked if I could send it to him for his daughter's birthday this week.  He didn't have email, so he gave me a card that showed his name and that he was staying at Lazarus Day Center (which is why I gather he's homeless or in rehab or something).  I wasn't able to print it and mail it because of our Internet problems (since the printer was wireless) and I was beside myself, so I called a FedEx Kinko's up there and I explained the situation and asked if I could upload the photo, have them print two copies on glossy photo paper and have them deliver them to him.  The very patient young gal I talked to through my tear said yes, I could email it to her.  I asked if she wanted to take my credit card info over the phone.  She said "This one's on me and I'll walk it over there to him at the Lazarus Day Center on my lunch hour.  Hope you had a great time in Seattle."  There are truly good people in this world."


So why tell this story? Because that one paragraph was Humility herself beating back the jealous little demon. Showing me that kind people take time out of their lives to do things for other people they don't know or should even care about.

Humility carried a freaking big stick and Lindsey is, for now, subdued, black and blue. I may not get to spend those few precious hours with The Major and his son yet. But I need to remember I'll be part of their lives forever.

I've already won the largest prize at the fair. Let someone else have the tin whistle.

Update: Surprise dinner with The Major and son tonight. Sometimes, patience really is a virtue.