Letter to a Bully's Parent

After yet another child died from bullying, I'm inclined to have certain thoughts, God forgive me, about the parents of these bullies. Please allow me this rant for a few minutes because I'm heartbroken.

Undear Parent of a Bully,




















You may just be the reason your poor child has taken it on him/herself to pick on someone else for their appearance/race/gender/sexual preference/beliefs. Were YOU possibly the victim of such a vicious circle of hate as a child that you've passed it down to your own offspring? Because surely you would have seen the signs. Some kids are confident but some are just arrogant. Do you mess with the head of your own kid at home, thinking it'll make them tougher in life, or tell them they don't amount to anything, etc? This is wrong. On so many levels. You were given a child to love, protect, teach and be proud of, NOT belittle, taunt, disrespect and hurt. I've told my own boys that your kids may need some understanding. That your kids' life needs improvement because home sucks for them, for whatever reason. Your kids feel powerless against the misfortunes of life. Unfortunately, your kids don't really know the meaning of love and can't absorb compassion. So they strike back at mine when my boys offer friendship.

I've seen and heard grown women with the mentality of a classic Mean Girl continue a tirade against another woman and her son simply because the other woman's child was a bit younger and not quite to the level in sports that their sons were. And these same women professed to be Christian every Sunday churchgoers. It's no wonder other cultures/religions/atheists look down on Christians when YOU are the example they see. I've also seen grown men manipulate others thru guilt and intimidation to do their bidding. Your kids are sponges and WILL pick up on the subtleties, whether you think they will or not. They take those controlling influences to the playground.

You should be ashamed of yourself and held JUST as responsible for the death of a bullied kid as your children who beat/teased to death that precious child. I'm sick and tired of hearing another sad story in the news because you can't seem to be a grown up and teach your child the meanings of right and wrong. Parent of a bully, you SUCK. But I still love you and hope you can change.

Sincerely, 
Fed up Featherann

Sometimes, you just need a musical interlude in your life. And sometimes, that includes mashing some bubblegum pop with some metal. Oh, say like NIN's 'Head Like a Hole' mashed with 'Call Me Maybe'. Admit it. You danced in your seat a little. ;)

Welcome to new readers in New Zealand and Australia (I'm going to visit there soon after we move to Okinawa!), India and the Netherlands! 

Mama bear don't play that!

NOTICE: I've had it with bullies.

Those bigger asswipes who pick on people smaller than them because they think size will protect them, either thru intimidation or sheer force.
Those smaller Napoleon weenies who, like rabid, snarling poodles try to push others around, regardless of size because they have something to prove.

Well, guess what you little pricks? This little mama may be small but dynamite comes in small packages and I WILL NOT let my kids be victims. Yes, I KNOW violence isn't the answer and turning the other cheek is the best thing to do. However, my children shouldn't have to constantly deal with humiliation, fear or kicks to self confidence. They WILL be taught to stand up for themselves. They already stand up for other kids who are bullied but they don't think it's a big deal when others do it to them. I should be proud of that, knowing my boys are being raised well. But a part of me, that Lindsey demon, is growling and snarling herself and I'm about to let her loose.

Earlier today, a kid swatted at my kidlet who's 11, tall and broad for his age. He takes after his dad in more than size: he's also a gentle giant. He champions others and keeps his own hurts to himself. He told the kid, who happened to be smaller, to knock it off. The jerk then fake juked a punch to my son's face then punched him in the stomach. Unprovoked. (If you know my son, you know this is true and not just a mom turning a blind eye. And there were witnesses.) My kidlet didn't hit back but did have the wind knocked out of him and told the principal his side of the story. Little jerk talked to the principal too but didn't get punished. WHAAAA???

Oh, it is ON.

My son had the same problem with a jerk on his baseball team who was favored by the coach as well. That kid spread some terrible and hurtful rumors about the kidlet as well as spit at him and threw baseballs at his face. The kidlet turned away each time, ignoring the taunts but I KNOW it got to him. How do I know? Because another kid told me about how he would hear my kidlet put himself down under his breath during drills, repeating the same hurtful things the jerk had told him. (commence breakage of mommy's heart)

When I confronted the coaches, I was told "boys will be boys" and despite a no tolerance policy, the kid wasn't forced to sit on the bench, as I was told would happen. MY kid sat instead. Of course, I knew where the jerk got his attitude. His mother was a first-class headcase herself and fond of spreading her own brand of meanness. Some people never grow up.

During a big tournament where my kidlet was needed but still sat sideline, I asked the coach again why the other kid was still playing after his actions continued. I was the one ridiculed, (by the coach!) my parenting skills questioned. Mama don't play that! I immediately pulled my son from the team and let it be known loudly neither he NOR his brother would ever play for that coach again. Despite my ex-husband knowing him for many years and being an assistant coach for the same team. The team fell apart after that and good riddance to bad rubbish. Do I regret my actions? NO. Because I stood up for my son when he needed me most.

This next bully better watch it or he'll find himself in a world of hurt. My claws are being sharpened as we speak and the kidlet is about to learn tae kwon do moves from the Major.

God bless the family of a little boy in Stillwater who took his own life in front of students this morning because of bullies. Rest in Peace, Cade.