Konnichiwaaaaa??

After the initial shock has been faced, and all our friends and family told the news of our impending move across the world, the stress has set in, but to a lesser degree. Granted, I've never lived anywhere but here in Oklahoma. Except that fun summer in the Allegheny Mountains at camp. But still. And the closest to being out of the country I've gone is  a week in Montreal for a conference and a few days in Barbados. Bless him, my husband at the time had the flu and that was supposed to be our honeymoon. I saw the ocean for the first time by myself while he languished in the humid hotel room with earaches and stuffy head.

This Italian/French honeymoon with the Major would have been the trip of a lifetime for me. Getting to finally seeing parts of the world I could usually only access thru the internet or by going thru his pictures. Now, I'm facing MOVING across the world. About 10,092 miles away, in fact. Away from my own family and friends. Of course, my boys have a bit of trepidation about it. They're gaining a stepdad plus face being in a new school again and trying to make new friends in a country where even the letters don't look familiar. I can understand that completely.

Not my kids but this reminds me of them.

I love my boys to pieces and would do anything for them. We had to think long and hard about getting married in the first place as this possibility of moving was there. Could I handle moving them? Could *they* handle it? New school, friends and way of life. And yet, they are strong little boys. Resilient and a bit willful, but absolute joys to be around. That's what makes it so hard for some people to let them go, to let them experience the wonders of the world, even at a tender age. I understand it. I really do. Only I'm lucky in that I get to experience it with them. I'm not a homebody. Never have been. I love having my roots somewhere and a place to go back to but I need to roam. The next few months will consist of lots of questions of and by my darling little ones, with some hard truths coming out on both sides. And I ache for them.

All I can do is pray to God for peace and understanding on either side of the coin and hope we all see what is truly good for them and not just for ourselves.

今日は, Alice. ワンダーランドへようこそ (Good day, Alice. Welcome to Wonderland.)

"Nothing is constant but change." - Heraclitus

Over the last two years, I thought the evolution of my life had changed me from a single celled organism to a complex, happy little cephalopod, shuffling along. In the next six months, I'm about to evolve again: into a wife, a stranger, a world traveler.

You see, Dec. 31, my love and my life proposed to me, surrounded by some of our friends and our kids (We wished it was all of them!) while we were in Taos. The landscape is beautiful, the snow plentiful and it was the start of an unexpected journey. I may be short and he may have Hobbit feet but what we didn't think of was the surprise Gandalf would deal us this past Friday.

We were just getting into a groove! The kids are doing extremely well in their new school, though they're both shy and don't quite know how to make friends. They're doing well in sports too. The Major was preparing to move to another squadron on base into a training position and life has been great. We had scheduled our wedding for June 22 with an Alice in Wonderland/Edwardian era themed wedding. I finally found my dream dress and had it ordered. Only the details of decorating and picking out the menu remained. Our wonderful friends were offering to help in various ways and we were looking forward to seeing some out of town family and friends all in our backyard. It would have been perfect.

Before the wedding, since the Major's son is graduating from the American University of Rome, we were also planning a "honeymoon" trip to see him with my kids. We're to be in Rome for a few days, then trek to EuroDisney for a few days and then leave the kids together in Rome while the Major and I went to Venice for a couple of days. The best trip in the world! Right? Everyone could be happy about seeing amazing places and we'd be together. I had started the passport process, thankfully.

After the wedding, I'd really learn what it was like being a military wife with access to healthcare and other things. I was already learning the lingo by doing lots of research and reading. And knowing what questions I could ask which would be answered. We'd be able to stay here for a couple more years at best and the world would be at ease.

Seems Uncle Sam and the Universe are conspiring.

In wonderful and scary ways. In six months, this will all drastically change and I'm praying it all works out for the best. For now, I'll leave you with the following to see what it is we'll actually be doing for the next three years.

We're moving to Kadena AB, Okinawa, Japan.

It's all too much to take in at once. We're pushing the wedding up to THIS SATURDAY with immediate family and a couple friends. We have to get paperwork started so that the kids and I are on the orders. Hoping to do a reception/going away/get rid of the booze because we can't take it with us party in May or June but as we don't know the exact order dates yet, that's hard to organize.

Check in regularly for updates as I plan to share the ups and downs (within reason). There are some delicate matters which will NOT be discussed in this or any other forum and I ask that mutual friends refrain from gossip and speculation, especially concerning the kids. All we ask is your patience and love.

Mama bear don't play that!

NOTICE: I've had it with bullies.

Those bigger asswipes who pick on people smaller than them because they think size will protect them, either thru intimidation or sheer force.
Those smaller Napoleon weenies who, like rabid, snarling poodles try to push others around, regardless of size because they have something to prove.

Well, guess what you little pricks? This little mama may be small but dynamite comes in small packages and I WILL NOT let my kids be victims. Yes, I KNOW violence isn't the answer and turning the other cheek is the best thing to do. However, my children shouldn't have to constantly deal with humiliation, fear or kicks to self confidence. They WILL be taught to stand up for themselves. They already stand up for other kids who are bullied but they don't think it's a big deal when others do it to them. I should be proud of that, knowing my boys are being raised well. But a part of me, that Lindsey demon, is growling and snarling herself and I'm about to let her loose.

Earlier today, a kid swatted at my kidlet who's 11, tall and broad for his age. He takes after his dad in more than size: he's also a gentle giant. He champions others and keeps his own hurts to himself. He told the kid, who happened to be smaller, to knock it off. The jerk then fake juked a punch to my son's face then punched him in the stomach. Unprovoked. (If you know my son, you know this is true and not just a mom turning a blind eye. And there were witnesses.) My kidlet didn't hit back but did have the wind knocked out of him and told the principal his side of the story. Little jerk talked to the principal too but didn't get punished. WHAAAA???

Oh, it is ON.

My son had the same problem with a jerk on his baseball team who was favored by the coach as well. That kid spread some terrible and hurtful rumors about the kidlet as well as spit at him and threw baseballs at his face. The kidlet turned away each time, ignoring the taunts but I KNOW it got to him. How do I know? Because another kid told me about how he would hear my kidlet put himself down under his breath during drills, repeating the same hurtful things the jerk had told him. (commence breakage of mommy's heart)

When I confronted the coaches, I was told "boys will be boys" and despite a no tolerance policy, the kid wasn't forced to sit on the bench, as I was told would happen. MY kid sat instead. Of course, I knew where the jerk got his attitude. His mother was a first-class headcase herself and fond of spreading her own brand of meanness. Some people never grow up.

During a big tournament where my kidlet was needed but still sat sideline, I asked the coach again why the other kid was still playing after his actions continued. I was the one ridiculed, (by the coach!) my parenting skills questioned. Mama don't play that! I immediately pulled my son from the team and let it be known loudly neither he NOR his brother would ever play for that coach again. Despite my ex-husband knowing him for many years and being an assistant coach for the same team. The team fell apart after that and good riddance to bad rubbish. Do I regret my actions? NO. Because I stood up for my son when he needed me most.

This next bully better watch it or he'll find himself in a world of hurt. My claws are being sharpened as we speak and the kidlet is about to learn tae kwon do moves from the Major.

God bless the family of a little boy in Stillwater who took his own life in front of students this morning because of bullies. Rest in Peace, Cade.

Catch me if you can

Sometimes, I just need to run. Run out the frustrations, the cares, the worry. Run as if someone is chasing me. Put the dog on the leash and let him drag me along, wind in my face, sun beating down, sweat pouring out of me along with the cares. Wear myself out physically while my brain works thru all the issues, leaving me with a clear head.

But never run from problems. They'll just sit there, waiting for your return, jumping down your throat when you're weakest. Run AT them, headlong and with abandon. They'll scatter like leaves.

Yes, sometimes, I just need a run.