Letter to a Bully's Parent

After yet another child died from bullying, I'm inclined to have certain thoughts, God forgive me, about the parents of these bullies. Please allow me this rant for a few minutes because I'm heartbroken.

Undear Parent of a Bully,




















You may just be the reason your poor child has taken it on him/herself to pick on someone else for their appearance/race/gender/sexual preference/beliefs. Were YOU possibly the victim of such a vicious circle of hate as a child that you've passed it down to your own offspring? Because surely you would have seen the signs. Some kids are confident but some are just arrogant. Do you mess with the head of your own kid at home, thinking it'll make them tougher in life, or tell them they don't amount to anything, etc? This is wrong. On so many levels. You were given a child to love, protect, teach and be proud of, NOT belittle, taunt, disrespect and hurt. I've told my own boys that your kids may need some understanding. That your kids' life needs improvement because home sucks for them, for whatever reason. Your kids feel powerless against the misfortunes of life. Unfortunately, your kids don't really know the meaning of love and can't absorb compassion. So they strike back at mine when my boys offer friendship.

I've seen and heard grown women with the mentality of a classic Mean Girl continue a tirade against another woman and her son simply because the other woman's child was a bit younger and not quite to the level in sports that their sons were. And these same women professed to be Christian every Sunday churchgoers. It's no wonder other cultures/religions/atheists look down on Christians when YOU are the example they see. I've also seen grown men manipulate others thru guilt and intimidation to do their bidding. Your kids are sponges and WILL pick up on the subtleties, whether you think they will or not. They take those controlling influences to the playground.

You should be ashamed of yourself and held JUST as responsible for the death of a bullied kid as your children who beat/teased to death that precious child. I'm sick and tired of hearing another sad story in the news because you can't seem to be a grown up and teach your child the meanings of right and wrong. Parent of a bully, you SUCK. But I still love you and hope you can change.

Sincerely, 
Fed up Featherann

Sometimes, you just need a musical interlude in your life. And sometimes, that includes mashing some bubblegum pop with some metal. Oh, say like NIN's 'Head Like a Hole' mashed with 'Call Me Maybe'. Admit it. You danced in your seat a little. ;)

Welcome to new readers in New Zealand and Australia (I'm going to visit there soon after we move to Okinawa!), India and the Netherlands! 

The Sorting Hat

Why can't I just have a giant Sorting Hat like in Harry Potter that goes over the house and magically tells me where everything goes?
"These things in the Hufflepuff long term storage pile."
"These things in the Gryffindor immediate household goods pile."
"These in the Slytherin you-may-not-see-them-for-months-because-military-shipping pile."

My oldest son has one that the Major brought from DisneyWorld for him but it's not nearly big enough. This is a fairly large house and with four of us in it, we have too much stuff. My goal over the next couple of weeks is to pare it down much more. From furniture to pageant clothes, an iphone and old wedding ring, to a myriad of toys and collectibles I've never shown, I want these things GONE. Out of sight. Sold. Vanished. Most of the stuff in the house seems to be the Major's, minor packrat that he is. Only thing is, we USE everything we have. The six tubs of party goods will definitely need some readjusting. I can't bear to be without our Christmas stuff because the boys will be spending the holiday with their dad over the next three years. But I would still like to decorate our house on the island to feel like home until they leave.

https://www.militarykidsconnect.org/

And why can't there be a Sorting Hat to work thru feelings? As we work custody out with their dad, this is my hopeful plan. It's a readjustment for everyone. I can only hope the changes are helping my kids be more flexible and accepting, opening their minds to all the possibility that world travel opportunities have in store. There are fantastic resources out there and I'm implementing as many as I can to help them thru the transition. Military Kids Connect has a little avatar so younger kids can keep track of their travels with a stamp, coping skills for older kids and even Military 101 for newcomers to learn the lingo. I've been Googling like crazy finding sites for making moving easier. Frankly, some of these sites would probably help me too!

How about a Sorting Hat to go thru the bajillion things that have to be done before the move? Not to mention our trip to Europe in the big middle of it all! (Crap, I nearly forgot about that!) There aren't enough hours in the day to keep the house running somewhat smoothly and normally while also preparing for this worldwide change. Physically and emotionally, it'll be a challenge. You'll notice I'm refraining from negative connotations? I'm determined to be positive about this thru the long haul. After all, I'm moving somewhere exciting (lots of people who've been there before us RAVE about it!) and I'm doing this with my best friend and love and my boys by my side!

For now though, if you're friend or family and plan to come over, either excuse the mess or pitch in and help. Imma need a LOT of it. ;)

Lost in Translation

~Wow~

(If you're from somewhere other than the US, please respond below this post so I can say hi to you!)

I don't really think of the people out there who read my blog because I just write it as a way to release. To get Lindsey, the inner demon, under control and beef up my creativity. A scream into the ethernet and if someone hears me, I hope I don't blow out their eardrums. Then I happened to see the Google Analytics of this blog for grins and giggles.

Holy Moses, 1,400 people from the craziest parts of the world are reading this blog! Staying on pages and reading multiple posts. It's humbling. I had to add a Translate This button so no one felt left out.
Some of the amazing places I wish I could visit from where readers are sent to my musings:

United Kingdom
Canada
Germany
Paraguay
Russia
Thailand
Brazil
Belgium
South Korea
Australia
Finland
Mexico

Thanks to readers from each of these! And I'm not quite sure why "Clean All the Things" is the most popular search phrase but it's funny all the same. (Is the world that dirty? Am I that OCD? I heart Hyperbole and a Half because of it.) And yes, I'm still alive and kicking, though my boyfriend tried to kill me. Thinking he doesn't get to fix dinner any more. No telling if he ends up putting nuts into the food. Tree nuts. Not his own...

XO to you all!

Catch me if you can

Sometimes, I just need to run. Run out the frustrations, the cares, the worry. Run as if someone is chasing me. Put the dog on the leash and let him drag me along, wind in my face, sun beating down, sweat pouring out of me along with the cares. Wear myself out physically while my brain works thru all the issues, leaving me with a clear head.

But never run from problems. They'll just sit there, waiting for your return, jumping down your throat when you're weakest. Run AT them, headlong and with abandon. They'll scatter like leaves.

Yes, sometimes, I just need a run.

That Noisy, Loud Voice

One of my goals these last two weeks was to start a regular routine of working out. Sure, it takes more time than that to establish something more concrete, but it's a start. I was so gung ho about working out, running nearly every day and getting into fantastic shape at the beginning of the year. No, it wasn't one of those NYE resolutions gone the way of the gutter. I had a great routine going. But then life and sickness crashed down on me.

I got a severe lung infection and bronchitis the week of the Warrior Dash, early in the summer. And I was also in the process of packing up our house to move in here. Two stressful times, if ever there were worse. After a round of antibiotics and steroids, I went ahead with the Dash, passing out afterward and having the Major fetch me the first aid folks who promptly began reprimanding me for running the extreme 5K in the hot sun on the meds I was taking. (Hey, I'm hardcore about this!) So, I took some time off. To recover and to pack. By then, as temperatures are wont to do in this god-forsaken state in summer, Hades was blazing outside. Simply walking out the door in 110 F with 60% humidity was stifling. Whoever put the pan of water into the stove known as Oklahoma and turned it on high was a jerk!

It's beginning to cool off and all four of us have bikes we can ride around the neighborhood. So that's a start. I've been using freeweights, doing yoga, pilates and weight resistance moves and starting to see some results. My weight and body issues have always been a sore point with me and I haven't been seeing as many results as I'd like. I'd had an affair with weight-loss supplements in the past and as someone with heart problems as a kid, this was stupid, obviously. However, the allure of the vitamin-slash-weight loss aisle was calling to me at the store yesterday.

"Quick results!"
"Lose half a human in three weeks!"
"Eating? That's for pigs! Never be hungry again!" they all claimed.

And then there's fun stuff they only whisper:
"Have heart palpitations for life!"
"Dizziness and nausea mean the product is working!"
"Just think, you'll be thin and pretty when you die!"

The loudest voice though was one that reverberated in my head from last year, when the Major threatened to literally spank me so hard I couldn't sit down if I ever touched any of those products again. I'd not seen him so angry at me about my health. The threat of me being a grown woman spanked like a child, as well as several friends who would probably help him hold me down, made me drop the bottle of "ephedra-free" pill o'the week so fast I almost broke it. Instead, I hustled over to the next aisle and got some dried fruits.

I've been pretty good this week, even getting in some swimming and eating fairly well. Dropped a few pounds and watched parts of my body head back north where they belong. (No, I'm not posting pics. Don't ask.)

After telling the rest of the voices in my head to shut up, I sure am enjoying this small bowl of ice cream I so richly deserve!

Shaken, not stirred

I like a good cocktail, though I'm more of the flavored drink kind of gal. I even prefer a dark or amber beer to the light stuff because I want it to have oomph. If I wanted a flavorless beverage, I'd choose water. And I like my life to be the same. Full of flavor, vitality, tang, spice.

Today though, I'm going with water. I'm keeping these emotions in check and to myself today. I need a calm thirst quencher to keep from getting drunk on feelings. There's too much to do today to become overwhelmed with emotional turmoil.

But here's my recipe for the weirdest L.I.T.:

3 parts Elation
2 parts Bitter
1 part Joyful Expectation
1/4 tsp. Confusion
1/2 tsp. Awkward
Several slices of Giddy
A squeeze of Exhausted Patience
Pinch of Regret
Dash of Fear
Sprinkle of Hope

Shake well, serve over ice. Don't forget the umbrella.

CLEAN ALL THE THINGS!

While cleaning the smog of rumors in my professional airspace, I'm cleaning up our house to be more presentable while I move in. It's a big job, what with this house being huge. We'll definitely have to have a garage sale! The scorching temps in the 100s don't bother me half as much since we have a pool to cool off in too. Now if the Major can just hurry on HOME.

Life is good, my friends. VERY good.

Clearing the Air

Just going to leave this right here for your perusal:

It always amazes me what people will gossip about. Some terribly funny gossip about me came back this morning and I had a hearty laugh about it. Because it's all false. Not even a lick of truth to it. I'm not going to repeat it here or anywhere else because frankly, it would be repeated with a new twist, I'm sure. On one hand, it sends traffic to my Facebook and to this blog. On the other, it makes those spreading the rumors look silly and completely unprofessional.

To dispel the rumors though, this is what I do: I am a social media consultant and strategist. I help manage social media sites, websites and blogs for different companies as a freelance consultant. I write press releases, promote various events and products and write blogs. I'm not doing anything questionable nor shameful. I am in control of myself and a professional at all times. My discipline involves the hard work I do for others; my fetish, the written word.

So people, knock it off. My respect for you has dropped several notches. If you want to continue to be rumor-mongers, go right ahead. It neither hurts my credibility nor the companies I work for. If anything, it makes them and me more popular.

Silly, silly people.