Wedding of the century (Part 1)

(Seriously, there's so much awesome to this wedding, it needs a couple of posts to keep from being tl;dr)

Saturday, Feb. 23, 2013 started off beautifully. Smooshed between two snow/ice filled days, the day was a bit brisk but very sunny and warmed up with very little wind. I was surprisingly relaxed, waking up next to the Major as we talked about the things we needed to do before the wedding. My dress STILL did not arrive (in fact, it came in Monday night. It may soon be for sale. Watch for postings.), but the dress we had worked well, especially with the new purple heels my girls Anne and Jessica helped me pick out. I put the finishing touches on my flower/brooch bouquet with brooches from my grandmothers, great aunts, mom and friends. Isn't it pretty?

The Major vacuumed a bit and we picked up around the house since my family was coming over. Frankly, we are such an old married couple attuned to each other's needs. Though the last week was a difficult one full of tears, fears and disappointment, we tried to focus on the positive. This was our wedding day!! He left for several hours and I relaxed, gradually starting the process of getting
ready, which kicked into high gear when my girlfriends arrived. But it seemed something was up. Strange texts from my MOM and the photog to my MoH. Earlier in the day, the Major washing random china pieces bought for the wedding party in June. I racked it up to nerves because it was just a weird thing to do. After spreading glitter all over the known universe, I was finally ready to go, sharing a few happy tears with my girls and plenty of laughs, coffee and chocolate. They went on ahead while I traveled with my mom and her fiance. (She had the most fabulous deep purple hat in keeping with my desire for a fun wedding.) I had quite a bit of excitement in the car but I was still calm, reflecting on the man waiting ahead of me with my sons. Today wasn't about what I was wearing or who would be there but just on the fact I would be married to this man who loved me.

After parking and as we walked up to the Myriad Gardens where we were meet the few family and friends, I saw another friend filming us with his iPad. I hadn't invited him and became a bit suspicious. Hmmmmm. The wedding was supposed to be small. Anne's boyfriend Isaac then came out filming us, wearing purple as well and a super cool top hat! My mom led us around the side and knowing there wasn't an easy entrance there, I asked about it. And then I saw the people. Dozens of people peering over the side of the waterstage amphitheatre at whatever was going on below. Music was playing and there were purple balloons and ribbons in the trees.

We stopped at the top of the stairs and I see about 60 or so people dancing to my favorite song that gets me thru the hard times, Dog Days are Over!! Every person, including children, is wearing a hat! My kids have little top hats on too! In the middle of this craziness is the most wonderful man in the world who had organized a Mad Hatter Tea Party wedding flashmob, in just a week's time. He had called all my family and as many friends as possible, organizing a secret Facebook group where they could plan it all! The teacups he had washed that morning were stacked around the edge of the waterstage, 100 tea flavored cupcakes made by my sister with potluck picnic lunch for attendees and unending JOY. I stood in shock as I spotted the Major dancing next to his best man who had secretly flown in from Boston that morning. My mom pulled me down the stairs and people were cheering like crazy! I couldn't get down the stairs and to the Major fast enough. My words to her were: "I know you were walking me down the aisle but can I go by myself? I just HAVE to get to that man down there! I gotta get to that man!!" I flew as fast as my three inch heels could carry me, launching myself at him and kissing him. I couldn't believe he did all of this! We have the most amazing friends who participated EVER!

Thank you to all of those who came to our wedding and celebrated with us. Thank you to Sara, our awesome officiant. Thank you to my wonderful family!!

We love you!!
(Continued with the vows later and we're making a kickass Youtube video!)

Konnichiwaaaaa??

After the initial shock has been faced, and all our friends and family told the news of our impending move across the world, the stress has set in, but to a lesser degree. Granted, I've never lived anywhere but here in Oklahoma. Except that fun summer in the Allegheny Mountains at camp. But still. And the closest to being out of the country I've gone is  a week in Montreal for a conference and a few days in Barbados. Bless him, my husband at the time had the flu and that was supposed to be our honeymoon. I saw the ocean for the first time by myself while he languished in the humid hotel room with earaches and stuffy head.

This Italian/French honeymoon with the Major would have been the trip of a lifetime for me. Getting to finally seeing parts of the world I could usually only access thru the internet or by going thru his pictures. Now, I'm facing MOVING across the world. About 10,092 miles away, in fact. Away from my own family and friends. Of course, my boys have a bit of trepidation about it. They're gaining a stepdad plus face being in a new school again and trying to make new friends in a country where even the letters don't look familiar. I can understand that completely.

Not my kids but this reminds me of them.

I love my boys to pieces and would do anything for them. We had to think long and hard about getting married in the first place as this possibility of moving was there. Could I handle moving them? Could *they* handle it? New school, friends and way of life. And yet, they are strong little boys. Resilient and a bit willful, but absolute joys to be around. That's what makes it so hard for some people to let them go, to let them experience the wonders of the world, even at a tender age. I understand it. I really do. Only I'm lucky in that I get to experience it with them. I'm not a homebody. Never have been. I love having my roots somewhere and a place to go back to but I need to roam. The next few months will consist of lots of questions of and by my darling little ones, with some hard truths coming out on both sides. And I ache for them.

All I can do is pray to God for peace and understanding on either side of the coin and hope we all see what is truly good for them and not just for ourselves.

Dali Dolly

Now he's gone. Left at 0600 this morning. I got up with him to help last minute prep and even made a few dozen cookies for his crew. As soon as the door closed, I had a proper boo hoo, went back to sleep for a few hours and now I don't feel like doing anything. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

It's nearly noon, I'm still in my pjs and I haven't eaten or even had my coffee. For those who know my fiendish appetite for a good cuppa, this isn't good. I'll get over this, I know. And that's okay. I need a day to rcoup, think about things to do in the meantime. Thankfully, I'll have my kids for a few days and we're going to the zoo tomorrow. And flag football starts for the youngest so I'll be busy with them a few days of the week.

I've decided the next two weeks are going to be busy (after I get my tuckus in gear.) There's still so much to do with this house to make it truly comfortable and a home. We hung some pictures last weekend but it isn't enough.

So my Major is Gone, Suck it Up! To-Do List:

1. Exercise every day. Build a better habit of it.
2. Organize the office files better. Consolidate, shred and otherwise get this crap cleaned up.
3. Make lovely, comfy window seats for the upstairs guest bed and the office. (This one has long been on my list since there's already a bench in each large window.) Some pillows, new window coverings and a padded seat will make it simply awesome. I want them to be gathering places for folks!
4. Hang more pictures! Throughout the house, the boys room especially.
5. Get the new shades installed in their room. It'll help with the electric bills and look SO much nicer in there. Wish I could repaint and take down the awful border in there. It'll be awhile.
6. Learn to cook something new, a dish I've never made before.
7. Unpack and sort some more boxes out of the garage.

Sure. All these things are rather ambitious for two weeks time but it'll keep my mind busy and my hands more so. After all, time is on my side.

Petulant Petunia

I've done some childish things as an adult. I've been mean and petty, one of those Mean Girls. Today, I just feel petulant. A little girl who has stifled the tears all day long though my inner Lindsey has been pouting for several days. (For those of you in military families use to this, stop reading now if you're going to tell me to grow up. YOU had to go thru this the first time too. So nyah nyah nyah!)

On Monday, the Major and I had decided we would be going to the Air Force Ball after all. I was so excited and had rushed to find the perfect dress! It fit me beautifully and I would feel like his princess in it. That dress is now hanging forlornly in the wardrobe, hoping for another chance to make a good impression. You see, a big ol' stinky AF bomb was dropped in his lap the next day, right after he bought the ball tickets. Tomorrow morning, he leaves for an island in the Pacific, close to the Philippines, for two weeks. AFTER the ball.

Sure, I'm disappointed about missing the ball but I'm hoping there'll be others. What I'm having trouble with now is the separation anxiety. The longest we've been apart is 10 days when he left for Vegas and I got to fly out at the end of the TDY to meet him there and have a little vacation. But he leaves tomorrow at last notice because someone did something a little stupid and hurt themselves so he's going in their stead. There's still a possibility he could be sent overseas to the Middle East for six months come November too, which we knew about in advance. This trip was just unlucky circumstance.

And speaking of luck, we had dinner tonight at a favorite sushi place and I nearly came unglued after seeing our fortunes. Those damn flour paste cookies had it in for us, I'm sure of it! He opened his to reveal, "Hope for the best but prepare for the worst."

Whaaaa the fuuuuu??

Seriously, like I need to add to my anxiety that something atrocious will happen to the man I love, the one I've been waking up with every morning after snuggling all night, who I finally found after what seems a lifetime of looking!!

The kicker was when I opened up mine. Guess what it said? Yeah, my mouth dropped open too.

EFF YOU UNIVERSE and your cruelty! Hoping for the best and preparing for the worst could be ANYTHING. If you're a bit facetious like I am, you added "...in bed" at the end of the fortune. So am I supposed to expect to wet the bed? Have painful sex? Stub my toe on the frame? Sheesh. Gimme a clue here, Mr. Universal Fate, who gave us both the worst possible fortune!

Life has been amazingly wonderful at the moment. (So sue me. It HAS.) We've now been living together for two months and it's been so easy, it's scary. Sure, we have disagreements but they barely pass with the blink of an eye. I keep expecting the other shoe to drop. Maybe this is the stiletto to fall on my instep, heel down. I know I'm supposed to be one of those strong women, stoically keeping the home lights burning while her man is off doing his military duty. It's only two weeks.

But right now, I want to wrap around his leg and cry, "Please don't go!"

Surreality is...

This is interesting. Weird. Lovely. Scary. Exactly what I've craved.

This living together, with my kids, in this house. Waking up every day next to each other. We hadn't done that except on trips. Now knowing that we will be seeing each other in all our glory and gory for as long as we can stand it. Excuse me while I clean out my eye-boogers before he wakes up.

I still have so much doubt that I'll live up to certain expectations, my own mainly. That, though I've managed to portray myself exactly as I am, I still won't be good enough. Because I really wasn't good enough before. Not according to some others' standards. Some insecurities are best left to children. But aren't we all just a bit child-like? No matter what anyone says, if you don't have SOME kind of doubts about yourself, or question your own motives and worry about what others think, then you're an egotistical douchebag. 


During my move into his house this weekend, I was overwhelmed. And more than a bit grumpy on a number of occasions from the sheer stress of it all. I tend to be shorter tempered than most when tired but kept myself under control. Then he'd crack a joke, I'd laugh or merely smirk at the absurdity and keep going. My mom was stunned at how neither of us snapped at each other and we just seemed happy instead of strained. Our house is a mess, boxes everywhere; I have no idea where anything is. Each box seems to have a surprise in it. And that bothers me. The clutter is causing me to have OCD and I may become a crack fiend to calm my nerves. I still have work to accomplish for clients and way too much to pack before we go on vacation tomorrow. IF I can find where I put our clothes and camping gear. 


It's a lot to absorb for all of us. So much change. So little time to adjust.

He'll have to get use to me laughing a bit too loud and finding my hairballs laying around, to being a stickler for manners and having a clutter free house. And to get use to having children in his house again.

I'll have to get use to him being a procrastinator and paper hoarder, to having a penchant for riling my kids up before bedtime, and the weird sleeping positions he has that look entirely too uncomfortable.

We'll both adjust to the eccentricities of our mothers, bless them both. To our siblings and their opinionated thoughts on our living situation and the ways of our relationship.

A family isn't perfect. We will never profess to be so. That frailty and fallibility is the most beautiful part of being human. Neither of us is perfect and I wouldn't have it any other way.